Recover From a Setback by Asking Yourself The Right Questions

"It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up." Vince Lombardi

.Building confidence can be as much about perseverance as it is about challenging yourself to take confidence building actions. This month I want to share with you some suggestions for getting back up when life knocks you down.

.Sometimes life throws stuff our way that we didn't expect and don't know how to deal with for a while.

It's important to remember that everything that happens to us is part of the beauty of our individual life ? the good, the bad and the ugly. Each experience contributes to who you are and what makes you wonderful and unique. Even if you can't yet see the positive growth aspects of a sad and painful experience at first, you can begin the healing process by taking the opportunity to look more closely at your life and consciously choose how you will respond to your circumstances.

I am by no means belittling the pain and anguish of a tragedy or even just the general angst of a difficult life experience. I am suggesting that you take control of your healing process so that when you emerge you are stronger, more confident and in a better position to move forward with the happy life you truly deserve. As Cheryl Richardson states in her book, Take Time for Your Life, "One of the gifts that surviving a personal crisis gives you is the motivation to reevaluate your life and take note of what really matters. Your perception changes and you find yourself asking some important questions. Am I really happy? Where do I feel truly satisfied? What do I want out of life, and what changes do I need to make to get it?"
Below are 12 more questions to get you thinking more deeply about your life and how you can challenge yourself to make the changes you now see are necessary or now have the opportunity to act on. Read through the following questions and see which ones jump out at you as really wanting your answer.

What emotions do you have around a particular question? Choose at least five to answer this month and see how your confidence and quality of life improve.

.1. What am I afraid of about this situation?
2. What has to happen for me to feel good in this situation?

What are some of the other choices I have here?
4. What am I avoiding that I need to face or deal with?
5. What will I change, give up, or do differently to be happy now?
6. What is the first step?
7. What is fueling me, where do I get my energy?

What do I need to let go of that is draining my energy?
9. What do I need to do to take better care of myself?
10. What do I need to do or say to be fully complete in this situation?
11. How am I honoring or NOT honoring myself and my feelings in this situation?
12. Who am I now and who do I want to be?


Ruth Hegarty - life coach, teacher & speaker - is founder of Leap of Confidence, a personal empowerment company offering coaching, training, tools and resources to help people build confidence for greater self-esteem, happiness, and success. Learn more about how we can help you lead a happier healthier life at

By: Ruth Hegarty


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